Trust

What a way to start a year...

On the first day of the year, I had the biggest letdown in my life (if not in the last 20+ years)... Hope this is the only one for this year not the first...

In my life, I build everything around TRUST... To me, TRUST is a must in everything, be it relationship, business deal, family matters, friendship etc. Without it, nothing matters...

It does not matter how it begin, but the moment you betray it, the effect will take a very long time to heal if not lifetime...

You may make the mistake but most of the time, people refuse to understand what the root of the problem is or what trigger it that lead to the problem... No matter what, that will never be an excuse for you to ignore all your promises and betray the trust built all these years... Yes, there are times you lied, but you lied because you refuse to hurt the person you care & love... in fact in some instances, certain individual would like to hear your lies than the truth because they prefer what had happened didn’t happened... they wish it is just a bad dream and refuse to accept reality... sigh, things are complicated especially dealing with ‘strangers’ around you…

As for me, since I always built everything around trust, I tried to be honest as much as I can... If I cannot tell them directly, I will hint them repeatedly hoping they will get the cue and had the courage to ask me directly... But at times, you find it very difficult when the person simply choose to ignore it and later when they discover, they start blaming me for what they call lies... It hurt me, at one side, you want to be honest, but on the other side you don’t want to hurt the person you care...

One simple example, recently, we (me & my group of friends) had problem with somebody... the problem is nobody had the courage to stand up and tell the person, the worst, they smile and joke like usual even though in their heart, full of suspicious, hatred, disappointment etc... they talk bad and gossiping behind the person but smile and joke when they are in front of him/her... As for me, I’m simply opposite, I will not hesitate to show the person of my displeasure right in front of him/her... either through word or body language... if the person concerned approach me, I will not hesitate to tell everything truthfully... it may hurt the person, but that’s the truth... sometimes the truth hurts... but my intention is for the said person to understand and rectify his/her mistakes... I believe, everyone is good and as human being nobody can escape from making mistakes, they may not realize it, so it is your responsibility to tell him/her hoping he/she realize it and rectify it... One thing that saddened me most, more often than not, at the end of the day, the said person end up hated/start avoiding me instead and remains close to those pretenders... The lesson I learned through this experience is; there are times you need to lie and pretend, to safeguard the relationship even though you don’t like it...

That involved friendship... business wise, you had fair share if it... all these to certain extent you can still stomach it... but when it involved somebody closer/dearer to you, the effect is far greater... In marriage especially, without trust, it may lead to collapse coz it is one of the main pillar in marriage...

It hurt me the most cause I realized that this world nowadays are full of lies and deception... as for me, no matter what, from this moment on wards, I only TRUST MYSELF and nobody else... period... one more person out from my circle now...