Yesterday is a public holiday in Malaysia in conjunction with Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. birth date...
My family and I joined a few VOCM friends and their family for short and fun outings at Karyn Resort in PD... We gather somewhere along Seremban – PD R&R area around noon and proceed to hotel...
Karyn Resort is a 3 star cozy hotel by the beach... it was a bit secluded which is just nice for private outings... Since I’m not feeling well, I proceed to hit the sag right after checking in whilst others are having fun in the pool...
I joined the group later in the evening for our fun and interesting Banana Boat ride from resort to Teluk Kemang and back to resort... wow... all of us really had fun and I must say, this is the highlights of the outings... Due to overwhelming response, we had to arrange for two rides... I participated in both rides... The first is a bit sedate due to small children involvement where we only had 1 ‘jump’ at the end of the ride... the second ride is more adventurous since it was participated by adult mostly... this time we had two ‘jump’, first at Teluk Kemang & another one at the resort... hahaha…... It was really fun and joyful events... to me, it worth every 'sen' of it...
After Maghrib prayers, we proceed to seafood dinner... the food is nice and price is quite reasonable too... our plan for another session after dinner somehow was cancel as most of us already tired then... Coupled with my fever acting up, we decided to call it a day slightly after 1am...
The next morning, we had buffet breakfast plus TT by the pool side whilst watching the kids had fun in the pool... we check out at 12noon and straight back home... Now my fever is getting worst, but nevertheless, I still enjoy every minute of the time we were there... Thanks to noorizz for organizing this trip and to naza, dzul, wakiki & sheron for your company... Look forward to the next trip in near future... now I’m under house quarantine...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Salam Maulidur Rasul
Sempena maulidur Rasul, izinkan saya berkongsi sedikit tentang sifat sifat peribadi yg terdapat didalam pemimpin agung kita (Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.) yg patut kita cuba contohi...
10 sifat peribadi yang mesti dipupuk
Sifat peribadi yang luhur merupakan aset penting dan berharga dalam kehidupan seseorang. Ia menjamin kehidupan yang indah dan bahagia tidak kira lelaki mahupun wanita.
Tidak semua di kalangan kita memiliki sifat mulia yang luhur ini sejak azali.
Sebab itu ia harus dipupuk supaya sebati di dalam diri kita dalam menjalani kehidupan seharian.
Hayati 10 sifat peribadi luhur di bawah, tanamkan ke dalam hati sanubari, lalui kehidupan yang lebih bahagia…
1. Tulus
2. Rendah diri
3. Setia
4. Berfikiran positif
5. Perwatakan ceria
6. Bertanggungjawab
7. Percaya kepada diri sendiri
8. Pemaaf
9. Mudah berkira
10. Empati
Tulus
Tulus atau ‘transparent‘ merupakan sifat yang paling disukai oleh semua orang. Ketulusan akan membuatkan orang lain berasa aman dan dihargai dengan kehadiran kita.
Orang yang tulus tidak akan memperbodoh atau berbohong apabila berkata-kata. Sebaliknya sentiasa menyatakan kebenaran, tidak suka mengada-ngada, berpura-pura, mencari-cari alasan atau memutar belitkan fakta.
Prinsip tulus ialah “berkata benar walaupun pahit”. Namun begitu, adalah lebih sempurna jika sifat tulus ini digabungkan dengan kebijaksanaan. Supaya ketulusan tidak menjadi penyebab yang boleh merugikan diri sendiri.
Rendah diri
Bukan rendah diri di atas kelemahan, tetapi merendah diri kerana kehebatan dan kekuatan. Inilah yang sukar manusia lakukan. Hanya orang-orang yang berjiwa kental mampu bersikap rendah diri. Ibarat padi yang semakin berisi semakin menunduk.
Orang yang bersikap rendah diri mampu mengakui dan menghargai keunggulan orang lain. Sikap sebegini mampu memberi impak terhadap dua situasi.
Pertama, membuatkan orang yang lebih tinggi pangkatnya daripada kita untuk berasa segan dengan kita.
Kedua, membuatkan orang yang lebih rendah pangkatnya daripada kita untuk tidak merasa kekok apabila berinteraksi dengan kita. Hebat bukan?
Setia
Kesetiaan merupakan satu sifat yang tinggi nilainya. Orang yang setia sentiasa dipercayai dan boleh diharap, selalu menepati janji, mempunyai komitmen yang tinggi, rela berkorban dan tidak berkhianat.
Berfikiran positif
Orang yang bersikap positif sentiasa berusaha melihat segala sesuatu dengan pandangan positif, meskipun dalam situasi yang buruk.
Orang sebegini lebih suka membicarakan kebaikan daripada keburukan orang lain, lebih suka membicarakan tentang harapan daripada kekecewaan, lebih suka mencari penyelesaian daripada berputus asa, lebih suka memuji daripada mengecam, dan sebagainya.
Berperwatakan ceria
Bukan semua orang dianugerahi wajah yang ceria. Oleh itu keceriaan tidak harus dinilai dari ekspresi wajah dan tubuh tetapi sikap dalaman (hati).
Orang yang ceria adalah orang yang dapat menikmati hidup, tidak suka mengeluh dan selalu berusaha meraih kegembiraan. Dia juga mampu mentertawakan situasi, orang lain, juga dirinya sendiri. Dia mempunyai potensi untuk menghibur dan mendorong semangat orang lain.
Bertanggungjawab
Orang yang bertanggungjawab akan melaksanakan kewajipannya dengan bersungguh-sungguh.
Andai melakukan kesalahan, dia berani mengakuinya. Ketika mengalami kegagalan, dia tidak akan mencari kambing hitam untuk disalahkan.
Bahkan kalau dia merasa kecewa dan sakit hati, dia tidak akan menyalahkan siapapun. Dia menyadari bahwa dirinya sendirilah yang bertanggungjawab atas apa pun yang dialami dan dirasakannya.
Percaya kepada diri sendiri
Rasa percaya kepada diri sendiri memungkinkan seseorang itu menerima dirinya sebagaimana yang dianugerahkan oleh Allah s.w.t, menghargai dirinya dan menghargai orang lain.
Orang yang percaya kepada diri sendiri mudah menyesuaikan diri dengan lingkungan dan situasi yang baru. Dia tahu apa yang harus dilakukannya dan melakukannya dengan baik.
Pemaaf
Kebesaran jiwa dapat dilihat dari kemampuan seseorang memaafkan orang lain. Orang yang berjiwa besar tidak membiarkan dirinya dikuasai oleh rasa benci dan permusuhan.
Ketika menghadapi masa-masa sukar dia tetap tegar, tidak membiarkan dirinya hanyut dalam kesedihan dan kekecewaan.
Mudah berkira
Orang yang mudah berkira menganggap hidup ini ringan. Dia tidak suka membesar-besarkan masalah kecil. Bahkan berusaha mengecilkan masalah-masalah besar.
Dia tidak suka mengungkit masa lalu dan tidak mahu khuatir dengan masa depan. Dia tidak mahu memeningkan kepada dan memberi tekanan kepada diri sendiri dengan masalah-masalah yang berada di luar kawalannya.
Empati
Empati adalah sifat yang sangat mengagumkan. Orang yang mempunyai sifat empati bukan sahaja merupakan seorang pendengar yang baik tetapi juga dapat menempatkan diri di tempat orang lain.
Ketika berlaku konflik dia akan selalu mencari jalan keluar terbaik bagi kedua belah pihak. Dia juga tidak suka memaksa pendapat dan kehendaknya sendiri. Dia selalu berusaha memahami dan mengerti perasaan orang lain.
Kesimpulan
10 sifat peribadi luhur di atas sangat berharga jika dapat diadaptasi dalam hati masing-masing. Bukan mudah, tetapi berbaloi jika dapat sentiasa ditanam, dipupuk dan dirasai oleh semua orang.
10 sifat peribadi yang mesti dipupuk
Sifat peribadi yang luhur merupakan aset penting dan berharga dalam kehidupan seseorang. Ia menjamin kehidupan yang indah dan bahagia tidak kira lelaki mahupun wanita.
Tidak semua di kalangan kita memiliki sifat mulia yang luhur ini sejak azali.
Sebab itu ia harus dipupuk supaya sebati di dalam diri kita dalam menjalani kehidupan seharian.
Hayati 10 sifat peribadi luhur di bawah, tanamkan ke dalam hati sanubari, lalui kehidupan yang lebih bahagia…
1. Tulus
2. Rendah diri
3. Setia
4. Berfikiran positif
5. Perwatakan ceria
6. Bertanggungjawab
7. Percaya kepada diri sendiri
8. Pemaaf
9. Mudah berkira
10. Empati
Tulus
Tulus atau ‘transparent‘ merupakan sifat yang paling disukai oleh semua orang. Ketulusan akan membuatkan orang lain berasa aman dan dihargai dengan kehadiran kita.
Orang yang tulus tidak akan memperbodoh atau berbohong apabila berkata-kata. Sebaliknya sentiasa menyatakan kebenaran, tidak suka mengada-ngada, berpura-pura, mencari-cari alasan atau memutar belitkan fakta.
Prinsip tulus ialah “berkata benar walaupun pahit”. Namun begitu, adalah lebih sempurna jika sifat tulus ini digabungkan dengan kebijaksanaan. Supaya ketulusan tidak menjadi penyebab yang boleh merugikan diri sendiri.
Rendah diri
Bukan rendah diri di atas kelemahan, tetapi merendah diri kerana kehebatan dan kekuatan. Inilah yang sukar manusia lakukan. Hanya orang-orang yang berjiwa kental mampu bersikap rendah diri. Ibarat padi yang semakin berisi semakin menunduk.
Orang yang bersikap rendah diri mampu mengakui dan menghargai keunggulan orang lain. Sikap sebegini mampu memberi impak terhadap dua situasi.
Pertama, membuatkan orang yang lebih tinggi pangkatnya daripada kita untuk berasa segan dengan kita.
Kedua, membuatkan orang yang lebih rendah pangkatnya daripada kita untuk tidak merasa kekok apabila berinteraksi dengan kita. Hebat bukan?
Setia
Kesetiaan merupakan satu sifat yang tinggi nilainya. Orang yang setia sentiasa dipercayai dan boleh diharap, selalu menepati janji, mempunyai komitmen yang tinggi, rela berkorban dan tidak berkhianat.
Berfikiran positif
Orang yang bersikap positif sentiasa berusaha melihat segala sesuatu dengan pandangan positif, meskipun dalam situasi yang buruk.
Orang sebegini lebih suka membicarakan kebaikan daripada keburukan orang lain, lebih suka membicarakan tentang harapan daripada kekecewaan, lebih suka mencari penyelesaian daripada berputus asa, lebih suka memuji daripada mengecam, dan sebagainya.
Berperwatakan ceria
Bukan semua orang dianugerahi wajah yang ceria. Oleh itu keceriaan tidak harus dinilai dari ekspresi wajah dan tubuh tetapi sikap dalaman (hati).
Orang yang ceria adalah orang yang dapat menikmati hidup, tidak suka mengeluh dan selalu berusaha meraih kegembiraan. Dia juga mampu mentertawakan situasi, orang lain, juga dirinya sendiri. Dia mempunyai potensi untuk menghibur dan mendorong semangat orang lain.
Bertanggungjawab
Orang yang bertanggungjawab akan melaksanakan kewajipannya dengan bersungguh-sungguh.
Andai melakukan kesalahan, dia berani mengakuinya. Ketika mengalami kegagalan, dia tidak akan mencari kambing hitam untuk disalahkan.
Bahkan kalau dia merasa kecewa dan sakit hati, dia tidak akan menyalahkan siapapun. Dia menyadari bahwa dirinya sendirilah yang bertanggungjawab atas apa pun yang dialami dan dirasakannya.
Percaya kepada diri sendiri
Rasa percaya kepada diri sendiri memungkinkan seseorang itu menerima dirinya sebagaimana yang dianugerahkan oleh Allah s.w.t, menghargai dirinya dan menghargai orang lain.
Orang yang percaya kepada diri sendiri mudah menyesuaikan diri dengan lingkungan dan situasi yang baru. Dia tahu apa yang harus dilakukannya dan melakukannya dengan baik.
Pemaaf
Kebesaran jiwa dapat dilihat dari kemampuan seseorang memaafkan orang lain. Orang yang berjiwa besar tidak membiarkan dirinya dikuasai oleh rasa benci dan permusuhan.
Ketika menghadapi masa-masa sukar dia tetap tegar, tidak membiarkan dirinya hanyut dalam kesedihan dan kekecewaan.
Mudah berkira
Orang yang mudah berkira menganggap hidup ini ringan. Dia tidak suka membesar-besarkan masalah kecil. Bahkan berusaha mengecilkan masalah-masalah besar.
Dia tidak suka mengungkit masa lalu dan tidak mahu khuatir dengan masa depan. Dia tidak mahu memeningkan kepada dan memberi tekanan kepada diri sendiri dengan masalah-masalah yang berada di luar kawalannya.
Empati
Empati adalah sifat yang sangat mengagumkan. Orang yang mempunyai sifat empati bukan sahaja merupakan seorang pendengar yang baik tetapi juga dapat menempatkan diri di tempat orang lain.
Ketika berlaku konflik dia akan selalu mencari jalan keluar terbaik bagi kedua belah pihak. Dia juga tidak suka memaksa pendapat dan kehendaknya sendiri. Dia selalu berusaha memahami dan mengerti perasaan orang lain.
Kesimpulan
10 sifat peribadi luhur di atas sangat berharga jika dapat diadaptasi dalam hati masing-masing. Bukan mudah, tetapi berbaloi jika dapat sentiasa ditanam, dipupuk dan dirasai oleh semua orang.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Corporate Language
A lesson from corporate world...
"We will do it" means
"You will do it"
"You have done a great job" means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it" means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means
"Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication" means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it" means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion" means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier" means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason" means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected" means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team" means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question" means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best" means
" You are in trouble"
hahaha... how true...
"We will do it" means
"You will do it"
"You have done a great job" means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it" means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means
"Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication" means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it" means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion" means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier" means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason" means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected" means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team" means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question" means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best" means
" You are in trouble"
hahaha... how true...
Always Think Positive...
Another interesting story on positive thinking....
It is LOGICAL. Think about the answer sincerely.
Once there was loving couple traveling in a bus in a mountainous area. They decided to get down at some place.
After the couple got down at some place the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed.
The couple upon seeing that, said, "We wish we were on that bus"
Why do u think they said that?
Scroll down for answer...
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If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen after the bus had passed ..!!!
Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help others.
Many times in life, the opposite of Success is not Failure, its Quitting.
It is LOGICAL. Think about the answer sincerely.
Once there was loving couple traveling in a bus in a mountainous area. They decided to get down at some place.
After the couple got down at some place the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed.
The couple upon seeing that, said, "We wish we were on that bus"
Why do u think they said that?
Scroll down for answer...
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If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen after the bus had passed ..!!!
Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help others.
Many times in life, the opposite of Success is not Failure, its Quitting.
Monday, February 22, 2010
How to Overcome Your Worries: 5 Timeless Thoughts...
Got this from one of the self motivation course i attend in MIM recently...
”Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” Benjamin Franklin
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard
“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.” George F. Burns
Worries. They can circle around and around in your head. Becoming louder and louder as they sap your strength and make you feel you weaker. It’s no fun.
So what can you do about it? Here are five timeless thoughts to help you overcome or at least lessen the worries in your life. I hope you find something helpful.
1. 80-90 percent of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” Winston Churchill
“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” E. Joseph Cossman
This is a big one but one that is easy to forget about. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.
2. Don’t mountains out of molehills.
“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish Proverb
“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” Arthur Somers Roche
“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.”
Dean Smith
It’s very easy to fall into the habit of making mountains out of molehills. You think and think about a small problem until it becomes something that you believe may ruin your life.
So why do we do it? Why don’t strive to make things easy and simple?
Well, one reason I believe is protection from pain. By making the problem huge can you can invent a helpful excuse to convince yourself to not take action.
Another reason is that the ego wants more. It wants to feel better or worse than someone else. By making things more complicated than they need to be you can make them feel very important. And since you are involved in these important things, since you have these BIG problems, well, then you have to be important too, right? Plus, by doing so you can get a lot of attention and comfort from other people.
So how do you get out of the habit of making mountains of molehills? Three tips:
* Zoom out. Ask questions that widen your current perspective. Questions like: “Does someone have it worse on the planet?” The answer may not result in positive thoughts, but it can sure snap you of a somewhat childish “poor, poor me…” attitude pretty quickly. This question changes the perspective from a narrow, self-centred one into a much wider one and helps me to lighten up about my situation and to be grateful about my life.
* Bring awareness to you own thought patterns. Ask yourself questions like: “Honestly, am I overcomplicating this?” and “What is the simplest and most straightforward solution to my problem that I may be avoiding to protect myself from pain?”
* Realize that much of this is in your head. Your relationships to what you want to achieve are – just like your relationships to people – to a large extent just in your head. Think that something is easy and simple instead of “heavy” and complicated and your perception of that external thing you want to achieve tends to change too. Experiment and find healthy and effective relationships to what you want to achieve instead of just seeing something like many people may do.
3. Let go of that familiarity and certainty.
“Worry is like a rocking chair–it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” Unknown
”People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” George Bernard Shaw
Whatever you have been doing perhaps for decades feels familiar and comfortable. Even if it may be something destructive as worrying. Taking a leap of faith and going into the unknown, making a change that may turn out to be positive, can feel scarier and more uncomfortable than what you are used to. Even if what you are used to is worse in the long run.
But at some point you have to make up your mind to start letting go of that old familiar part of yourself. You have to fill up the space all that worrying used take up with new thinking. It may feel uncomfortable. It is not so intimately familiar as your past thoughts.
It can be scary and exciting at the same time because now you are not just someone who sees him/herself as worrier and that uses some techniques to lessen that. You are instead making a deep change to who you are, to how you view yourself. You are letting go of something that has been a big part of you and are leaving it at the side of the road.
One great tip that I have learned for making it easier to let go is to first accept it. Then to let it go. When you accept something instead of resisting it you stop feeding more energy into your problem and making it even bigger. A bit counterintuitive.
This is useful when it comes to letting go. If you first accept what you want to let go you aren’t so emotionally attached to it and still feeding it with your focus and energy. And so it becomes less powerful and easier to just drop. As long as you resist it then it will be hard to let it go.
Another helpful hint for letting go is found in tip #1 in this article. All that worrying in your past may not have been very accurate at all. So perhaps it’s a smart choice to let go of that habit?
4. Focus on a solution.
“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” Harold Stephen
“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” Robert Frost
”You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.” Pat Schroeder
To move out of worry it’s very helpful to just start moving and taking action to solve what you are concerned about.
Two tips that have helped me to take action more consistently are:
Using a morning routine.
This is perhaps the most powerful tip I have found so far in this area. You simply set up a routine in the morning that you do as soon as you wake up. This works so well because what you do early in the day often sets the context for your day. As humans we have a strong tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. That’s one big reason why a bad start often leads to a bad day and a good start often leads to a good day. Read all about my and other people’s morning routines in this article.
Focusing on and taking responsibility for the process, not the potential results.
I use this when I workout. I don’t take responsibility for the results in my mind. I take responsibility for showing up and doing my workout. The results have come anyway from that consistent action. And this makes it easier for me to take this action when I know that is all I need to focus on. Instead of using half of the energy and focus I have available on hoping that I “reach my goal real, real soon”.
Focus on the process and you will be a lot more relaxed and prone to continue than if you stare yourself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as you want to and puts you on an emotional rollercoaster from day to day.
5. Tomorrow will come anyway. Live and fully enjoy here and now.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo F. Buscaglia
It may sometimes seem that by worrying we can less the sorrow of tomorrow. But it never works. It only sucks the life out of today and this moment.
To be able to live better today and to be able to take that action to prevent the possible sorrow it’s important to learn to live in the present moment. Because it’s there that you can do things in the best possible way with your focus fully on what you are doing.
Three of my favourite techniques for drawing myself back to the now are these (the first one is the one I use most often right now):
* Focus on what’s right in front of you. Or around you. Or on you. Use your senses. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. Be still right there and just take in the world around you.
* Pick up the vibe from present people. If you know someone that is more present than most people then you can pick his/her vibe of presence (just like you can pick up positivity or enthusiasm from people). If you don’t know someone like that then I have often recommended listening/watching to Eckhart Tolle in the past. I still do. I especially like his book “Stillness Speaks”. Another guy that I find helpful for picking up presence from is Wayne Dyer.
* Paraliminals. I reviewed these guided meditation CDs during my free time and they have become one of my favourite way for reconnecting with the present. I just plop down on my bed for 25 minutes or so to relax and listen. Afterwards I feel relaxed and energized and my self-talk tends to shut down or decrease significantly for maybe half a day. This makes it a lot easier to be in the present moment and just focus on what is going on right now.
”Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” Benjamin Franklin
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard
“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.” George F. Burns
Worries. They can circle around and around in your head. Becoming louder and louder as they sap your strength and make you feel you weaker. It’s no fun.
So what can you do about it? Here are five timeless thoughts to help you overcome or at least lessen the worries in your life. I hope you find something helpful.
1. 80-90 percent of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” Winston Churchill
“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” E. Joseph Cossman
This is a big one but one that is easy to forget about. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.
2. Don’t mountains out of molehills.
“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish Proverb
“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” Arthur Somers Roche
“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.”
Dean Smith
It’s very easy to fall into the habit of making mountains out of molehills. You think and think about a small problem until it becomes something that you believe may ruin your life.
So why do we do it? Why don’t strive to make things easy and simple?
Well, one reason I believe is protection from pain. By making the problem huge can you can invent a helpful excuse to convince yourself to not take action.
Another reason is that the ego wants more. It wants to feel better or worse than someone else. By making things more complicated than they need to be you can make them feel very important. And since you are involved in these important things, since you have these BIG problems, well, then you have to be important too, right? Plus, by doing so you can get a lot of attention and comfort from other people.
So how do you get out of the habit of making mountains of molehills? Three tips:
* Zoom out. Ask questions that widen your current perspective. Questions like: “Does someone have it worse on the planet?” The answer may not result in positive thoughts, but it can sure snap you of a somewhat childish “poor, poor me…” attitude pretty quickly. This question changes the perspective from a narrow, self-centred one into a much wider one and helps me to lighten up about my situation and to be grateful about my life.
* Bring awareness to you own thought patterns. Ask yourself questions like: “Honestly, am I overcomplicating this?” and “What is the simplest and most straightforward solution to my problem that I may be avoiding to protect myself from pain?”
* Realize that much of this is in your head. Your relationships to what you want to achieve are – just like your relationships to people – to a large extent just in your head. Think that something is easy and simple instead of “heavy” and complicated and your perception of that external thing you want to achieve tends to change too. Experiment and find healthy and effective relationships to what you want to achieve instead of just seeing something like many people may do.
3. Let go of that familiarity and certainty.
“Worry is like a rocking chair–it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” Unknown
”People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” George Bernard Shaw
Whatever you have been doing perhaps for decades feels familiar and comfortable. Even if it may be something destructive as worrying. Taking a leap of faith and going into the unknown, making a change that may turn out to be positive, can feel scarier and more uncomfortable than what you are used to. Even if what you are used to is worse in the long run.
But at some point you have to make up your mind to start letting go of that old familiar part of yourself. You have to fill up the space all that worrying used take up with new thinking. It may feel uncomfortable. It is not so intimately familiar as your past thoughts.
It can be scary and exciting at the same time because now you are not just someone who sees him/herself as worrier and that uses some techniques to lessen that. You are instead making a deep change to who you are, to how you view yourself. You are letting go of something that has been a big part of you and are leaving it at the side of the road.
One great tip that I have learned for making it easier to let go is to first accept it. Then to let it go. When you accept something instead of resisting it you stop feeding more energy into your problem and making it even bigger. A bit counterintuitive.
This is useful when it comes to letting go. If you first accept what you want to let go you aren’t so emotionally attached to it and still feeding it with your focus and energy. And so it becomes less powerful and easier to just drop. As long as you resist it then it will be hard to let it go.
Another helpful hint for letting go is found in tip #1 in this article. All that worrying in your past may not have been very accurate at all. So perhaps it’s a smart choice to let go of that habit?
4. Focus on a solution.
“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” Harold Stephen
“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” Robert Frost
”You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.” Pat Schroeder
To move out of worry it’s very helpful to just start moving and taking action to solve what you are concerned about.
Two tips that have helped me to take action more consistently are:
Using a morning routine.
This is perhaps the most powerful tip I have found so far in this area. You simply set up a routine in the morning that you do as soon as you wake up. This works so well because what you do early in the day often sets the context for your day. As humans we have a strong tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. That’s one big reason why a bad start often leads to a bad day and a good start often leads to a good day. Read all about my and other people’s morning routines in this article.
Focusing on and taking responsibility for the process, not the potential results.
I use this when I workout. I don’t take responsibility for the results in my mind. I take responsibility for showing up and doing my workout. The results have come anyway from that consistent action. And this makes it easier for me to take this action when I know that is all I need to focus on. Instead of using half of the energy and focus I have available on hoping that I “reach my goal real, real soon”.
Focus on the process and you will be a lot more relaxed and prone to continue than if you stare yourself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as you want to and puts you on an emotional rollercoaster from day to day.
5. Tomorrow will come anyway. Live and fully enjoy here and now.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo F. Buscaglia
It may sometimes seem that by worrying we can less the sorrow of tomorrow. But it never works. It only sucks the life out of today and this moment.
To be able to live better today and to be able to take that action to prevent the possible sorrow it’s important to learn to live in the present moment. Because it’s there that you can do things in the best possible way with your focus fully on what you are doing.
Three of my favourite techniques for drawing myself back to the now are these (the first one is the one I use most often right now):
* Focus on what’s right in front of you. Or around you. Or on you. Use your senses. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. Be still right there and just take in the world around you.
* Pick up the vibe from present people. If you know someone that is more present than most people then you can pick his/her vibe of presence (just like you can pick up positivity or enthusiasm from people). If you don’t know someone like that then I have often recommended listening/watching to Eckhart Tolle in the past. I still do. I especially like his book “Stillness Speaks”. Another guy that I find helpful for picking up presence from is Wayne Dyer.
* Paraliminals. I reviewed these guided meditation CDs during my free time and they have become one of my favourite way for reconnecting with the present. I just plop down on my bed for 25 minutes or so to relax and listen. Afterwards I feel relaxed and energized and my self-talk tends to shut down or decrease significantly for maybe half a day. This makes it a lot easier to be in the present moment and just focus on what is going on right now.
Ali...
Tomorrow I gonna meet Melaka CM, Datuk Seri Utama Ali Rustam... the same guy I kutuk kaw kaw last year in my blog (on Shah Rukh Khan Datukship)...
This gonna be good opportunity for me to gauge him and people surrounding him... anyway, will only share good things about him here later...
This gonna be good opportunity for me to gauge him and people surrounding him... anyway, will only share good things about him here later...
Year of Tiger Resolution?
It has been more than a week since I last wrote here... things are a bit hectic despite of CNY holidays...
Too many things that I had gone through for the last 1 week but the most significant thing is the piece of similar advice received from my boss ustaz & fengshui master... one thing amazing about my boss ustaz is, we never meet before but for sure he know hell a lot about me... not through my boss either...
Anyway, their comment and advice is, this year gonna be a good year for me... and two things that I must always remember;
1. To do more charity
2. Be more quiet/reduce being out spoken/speak only when necessary
Hmmm... the first one is quite easy for me, insyaAllah... but the second one, I got to try real hard... being out spoken and frank with everybody, this gonna be tough one... Anyway, I will try...
For a start, from now on, I will speak less about other people... next I decided to share more on whatever Islamic knowledge I had/received all over... to me, by doing so I hope I can do my small part in ‘dakwah’ to readers here... at least when I’m no longer in this world, people can still read and benefits from it... Best getting more friends than hurting them...
I’m doing this is not just to remind others, but more for me too coz I’m no angel either...
But on other matters, I will still share my thought here...
Too many things that I had gone through for the last 1 week but the most significant thing is the piece of similar advice received from my boss ustaz & fengshui master... one thing amazing about my boss ustaz is, we never meet before but for sure he know hell a lot about me... not through my boss either...
Anyway, their comment and advice is, this year gonna be a good year for me... and two things that I must always remember;
1. To do more charity
2. Be more quiet/reduce being out spoken/speak only when necessary
Hmmm... the first one is quite easy for me, insyaAllah... but the second one, I got to try real hard... being out spoken and frank with everybody, this gonna be tough one... Anyway, I will try...
For a start, from now on, I will speak less about other people... next I decided to share more on whatever Islamic knowledge I had/received all over... to me, by doing so I hope I can do my small part in ‘dakwah’ to readers here... at least when I’m no longer in this world, people can still read and benefits from it... Best getting more friends than hurting them...
I’m doing this is not just to remind others, but more for me too coz I’m no angel either...
But on other matters, I will still share my thought here...
Friday, February 12, 2010
Go-Kart...
Last weekend I participated in 2nd VOCM go-kart competition... with the agreement of fellow VOCM committee members & regulars, we decided to turn the fun event into an annual championship with 6 – 8 legs of racing.
The format is as per F1 rules & overall winners will be determine based on who gather highest point after all the 6/8 legs...
For second leg last weekend, the venue remains the same i.e. Shah Alam Stadium... Once again we had 14 participants despite of the absence of JB members. But the race time had been changed to 2pm!!! “Mengelegak otak...” hahaha... But anyhow, we all still had fun...
I was unlucky this time around as my kart engine dies off at starting line during race proper. The Marshall took so long to restart my kart and by the time I start I was almost 1 lap behind others... despite of the setback, I still managed to finish in 12th out of 14th position... hehehe...
Anyway, it is not so much of the placing, it’s the sportsmanship that counts. And more importantly, I’m glad everybody enjoyed themselves during the race... I finish with 0 point this time and hopefully will have better luck in the next race...
Enjoy some of the photos below courtesy of “botak”
The format is as per F1 rules & overall winners will be determine based on who gather highest point after all the 6/8 legs...
For second leg last weekend, the venue remains the same i.e. Shah Alam Stadium... Once again we had 14 participants despite of the absence of JB members. But the race time had been changed to 2pm!!! “Mengelegak otak...” hahaha... But anyhow, we all still had fun...
I was unlucky this time around as my kart engine dies off at starting line during race proper. The Marshall took so long to restart my kart and by the time I start I was almost 1 lap behind others... despite of the setback, I still managed to finish in 12th out of 14th position... hehehe...
Anyway, it is not so much of the placing, it’s the sportsmanship that counts. And more importantly, I’m glad everybody enjoyed themselves during the race... I finish with 0 point this time and hopefully will have better luck in the next race...
Enjoy some of the photos below courtesy of “botak”
Hati...
It's Friday... a bit of tazkirah received from my colleague to share... moga semua dapat menfaat...
QUOTE
Iman adalah Mutiara didalam Hati manusia Yang meyakini ALLAH!
Manusia hanya dapat menilai keikhlasan seseorang itu daripada suara atau mulut mereka, tetapi ALLAH melihat keikhlasan itu dari HATI mereka.
Dari Abu Hurairah R.A, Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda: “Manusia, dua matanya itu pemberi petunjuk. Kedua telinganya itu corong. Lidahnya itu juru bahasa. Kedua tangannya itu sayap. Kedua kakinya itu pos dan HATI-nya itu raja. Apabila raja itu baik, niscaya baiklah tentera2nya”. (HR Abu Na’im dan Thabrani).
Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda, “Sesungguhnya Allah tidak memandang kepada tubuh kalian dan tidak pula kepada rupa kalian, tetapi ALLAH memandang kepada HATI kalian”. ( HR Muslim)
Rasulullah S.A.W. besabda, “Dalam diri manusia itu ada segumpal darah, yang apabila baik maka baik seluruhnya, tetapi apabila buruk maka buruk seluruhnya, itulah HATI’. (HR. Bukhari)
Dari Abdullah bin Mas’sud R.A. Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda: “Tidak akan masuk syurga orang yang didalam HATI-nya terdapat rasa sombong walaupun hanya sebesar dzarrah”….”Sombong itu menolak kebenaran dan merendahkan sesama manusia”. (Hadits Riwayat Muslim).
Janganlah selalu menganggap yang diri kita sentiasa benar, dan orang lain selalu salah, jika ini ada didalam HATI kita, maka berhati-hatilah, kerana kita telah diperbudak-budakkan oleh kesombongan kita.
UNQUOTE
sesungguhnya yang baik datang dari Allah swt & yg buruk dari hamba ini yg lemah... wassalam
QUOTE
Iman adalah Mutiara didalam Hati manusia Yang meyakini ALLAH!
Manusia hanya dapat menilai keikhlasan seseorang itu daripada suara atau mulut mereka, tetapi ALLAH melihat keikhlasan itu dari HATI mereka.
Dari Abu Hurairah R.A, Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda: “Manusia, dua matanya itu pemberi petunjuk. Kedua telinganya itu corong. Lidahnya itu juru bahasa. Kedua tangannya itu sayap. Kedua kakinya itu pos dan HATI-nya itu raja. Apabila raja itu baik, niscaya baiklah tentera2nya”. (HR Abu Na’im dan Thabrani).
Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda, “Sesungguhnya Allah tidak memandang kepada tubuh kalian dan tidak pula kepada rupa kalian, tetapi ALLAH memandang kepada HATI kalian”. ( HR Muslim)
Rasulullah S.A.W. besabda, “Dalam diri manusia itu ada segumpal darah, yang apabila baik maka baik seluruhnya, tetapi apabila buruk maka buruk seluruhnya, itulah HATI’. (HR. Bukhari)
Dari Abdullah bin Mas’sud R.A. Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda: “Tidak akan masuk syurga orang yang didalam HATI-nya terdapat rasa sombong walaupun hanya sebesar dzarrah”….”Sombong itu menolak kebenaran dan merendahkan sesama manusia”. (Hadits Riwayat Muslim).
Janganlah selalu menganggap yang diri kita sentiasa benar, dan orang lain selalu salah, jika ini ada didalam HATI kita, maka berhati-hatilah, kerana kita telah diperbudak-budakkan oleh kesombongan kita.
UNQUOTE
sesungguhnya yang baik datang dari Allah swt & yg buruk dari hamba ini yg lemah... wassalam
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sigh....
I sometimes really at lost on how to handle certain people...
When they make mistake & say sorry... you forgive them... then a few days later, they repeat same thing again & once again they apologise, you forgave but a bit bitter... then for heaven sake they repeat again the same stupid mistake & easily apologise... this time, I really dont know what to say or do... yes, I do forgive but the question in my mind... do they ever learn from their mistake? do they really sincere in apologising? damn... I'm really at lost facing this kind of human being...
Anther thing that i could not tolerate is people who take whatever looks like theirs as theirs without having any inkling that possibility theirs is already in their possession somewhere...and the thing that they take is really not theirs till the rightful owner asking about it... haiyaa... for heaven sake, please... please... please... you are not the only person in this world own that OK?
When they make mistake & say sorry... you forgive them... then a few days later, they repeat same thing again & once again they apologise, you forgave but a bit bitter... then for heaven sake they repeat again the same stupid mistake & easily apologise... this time, I really dont know what to say or do... yes, I do forgive but the question in my mind... do they ever learn from their mistake? do they really sincere in apologising? damn... I'm really at lost facing this kind of human being...
Anther thing that i could not tolerate is people who take whatever looks like theirs as theirs without having any inkling that possibility theirs is already in their possession somewhere...and the thing that they take is really not theirs till the rightful owner asking about it... haiyaa... for heaven sake, please... please... please... you are not the only person in this world own that OK?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Needs a lot of Thinking... Can you answer this?
Got this from a friend of mine... hahaha
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot.
Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.
He was taken to the electrocution chamber.
There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him! .
But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.
This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.
Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.
The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge.
Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.
Still you couldn't, Then see below...
Think hard
Tired????
wanna know the answer????
Answer :
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.
But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !
Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity? ?
Hope you have a good day...
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot.
Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.
He was taken to the electrocution chamber.
There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him! .
But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.
This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.
Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.
The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge.
Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.
Still you couldn't, Then see below...
Think hard
Tired????
wanna know the answer????
Answer :
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.
But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !
Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity? ?
Hope you have a good day...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Are we developing our kids to be positive or negative thinker?
Most of us adult tend to have negative thinking... mainly are due to our upbringing when our parents tend to stop us on what we want/like to do... don't do that, don't touch that, don't go there etc etc... they only forbid us without explaining the real reason... unlike kids nowadays, they think differently... hence, as parents, we should spend more time reasoning with them so that they understand better...
On top of the above, we should also teach them to believe in themselves and have the winning mentality... Only through this we can develop them to be more positive in their life...
Below is a true story I would like to share on positive thinker vs adult with negative thinker... hope you enjoy and for you to ponder...
On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League base ball game that was being played in a park near my home.
As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was
'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered With a smile.
'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged. '
'Discouraged? ', the boy asked with a Puzzled look on his face...
'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't Been up to bat yet.'
On top of the above, we should also teach them to believe in themselves and have the winning mentality... Only through this we can develop them to be more positive in their life...
Below is a true story I would like to share on positive thinker vs adult with negative thinker... hope you enjoy and for you to ponder...
On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League base ball game that was being played in a park near my home.
As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was
'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered With a smile.
'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged. '
'Discouraged? ', the boy asked with a Puzzled look on his face...
'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't Been up to bat yet.'
Friday, February 5, 2010
The Secret...
One day, one friend asked another,
"How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down."
With her eyes smiling, she said,
"I know the Secret!"
"What secret is that?"
To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."
"The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."
The questioner's first thought was, "That's too simple!"
But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.
Now you know it too!
We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust HIM!
And now I share the Secret on to you! So once you knew it, what will you do?
YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!
That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU!
But it's not really a secret...
We just have to believe it and do it...
Really trust God!
In everything you do, put GOD first, and he will direct you and crown your effort with success.
"How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down."
With her eyes smiling, she said,
"I know the Secret!"
"What secret is that?"
To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."
"The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."
The questioner's first thought was, "That's too simple!"
But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.
Now you know it too!
We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust HIM!
And now I share the Secret on to you! So once you knew it, what will you do?
YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!
That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU!
But it's not really a secret...
We just have to believe it and do it...
Really trust God!
In everything you do, put GOD first, and he will direct you and crown your effort with success.
The Magic Of Love
Love is like magic...
And it always will be.
For love still remains,
Life's sweet mystery!!
Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!
Love can transform
The most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.
Love is unselfish,
Understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart
And not with its mind!!
Love is the answer
That everyone seeks...
Love is the language,
That every heart speaks.
Love can't be bought,
It is priceless and free,
Love, like pure magic,
Is life's sweet mystery!!
I love you my dear wife...
And it always will be.
For love still remains,
Life's sweet mystery!!
Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!
Love can transform
The most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.
Love is unselfish,
Understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart
And not with its mind!!
Love is the answer
That everyone seeks...
Love is the language,
That every heart speaks.
Love can't be bought,
It is priceless and free,
Love, like pure magic,
Is life's sweet mystery!!
I love you my dear wife...
Accident
My wife met with small accident last night... pity her... but I’m glad she is OK…... that is most important to me...
This morning go and sort out her Kelisa repair with the other party and so far all went well... look forward to see her Kelisa out next week... in the meantime, my "black mafia" belongs to her & my faithful "goldie" will serve me...
Anyway, this is second time her Kelisa had an accident... hehehe... like hinting to me something jer... and one thing for sure, never ever talk about changing car unless you really want to change it... It’s like they ‘merajuk’ or something like that... even my "black mafia" had an accident before when I was busy making up my "goldie"...hmmm...
By the way, come to think of it, my wife deserved to drive better car & insyaAllah dear, I’ll get you your dream/wish (got to qualify on this...sometimes dream is ferrari but wish is only mini cooper...hehehe) car soon... just pray for it.. You deserved the best dear...
This morning go and sort out her Kelisa repair with the other party and so far all went well... look forward to see her Kelisa out next week... in the meantime, my "black mafia" belongs to her & my faithful "goldie" will serve me...
Anyway, this is second time her Kelisa had an accident... hehehe... like hinting to me something jer... and one thing for sure, never ever talk about changing car unless you really want to change it... It’s like they ‘merajuk’ or something like that... even my "black mafia" had an accident before when I was busy making up my "goldie"...hmmm...
By the way, come to think of it, my wife deserved to drive better car & insyaAllah dear, I’ll get you your dream/wish (got to qualify on this...sometimes dream is ferrari but wish is only mini cooper...hehehe) car soon... just pray for it.. You deserved the best dear...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Bumiputera
This is a hot topic and as much as I would like to touch on this at length, I had to be cautious due to sensitivity and ISA threat hanging over my head (if I go over board)...
In short, I totally agree with what Tun Dr. Mahathir said recently and fully behind PERKASA in this issue... I'm not their member and my stand remains i.e. as a non partisan Malaysian.
In a nutshell, we all Malaysian should be happy with what had been agreed during independent... nobody gets all and no body lost all... As Malay, below are my brief perspective based on my understanding of the history and constitution;
To non Malay
- You got your citizenship
- You got to maintain your mother tongue & use it freely
- You got to practice your religion / belief freely (in fact, having amongst the biggest religious statue in the world)
- You got your own schools (SRJKC & SRJKT)
- You got your own university now
- You got to be part of the party that rule the country
- You got freedom in doing business and acquiring assets/wealth forever
- plus many more...
The above are amongst things that the Malay had given you, in return, what had you given to the Malay? So, please stop questioning our rights when in the first place it’s already ours well before your ancestors stepped their foot here.
To me, it’s very simple, if you don’t like Malaysia as it is now, feel free to migrate... take up citizenship elsewhere and see/feel for yourself how those countries treat you... nearest is Singapore...
Well before I get emotional, better I stop here... but please remember guys, without the Malay leaders agreement on the above earlier, where would you be... look at Brunei & Indonesia during Suharto time to name a few...
Stop talking about human rights because Malays have the right too... especially in their mother land...
I love Malaysia & quite satisfied with the current harmony... so please stop provoking others... be grateful with what you got and let’s live peacefully together...
In short, I totally agree with what Tun Dr. Mahathir said recently and fully behind PERKASA in this issue... I'm not their member and my stand remains i.e. as a non partisan Malaysian.
In a nutshell, we all Malaysian should be happy with what had been agreed during independent... nobody gets all and no body lost all... As Malay, below are my brief perspective based on my understanding of the history and constitution;
To non Malay
- You got your citizenship
- You got to maintain your mother tongue & use it freely
- You got to practice your religion / belief freely (in fact, having amongst the biggest religious statue in the world)
- You got your own schools (SRJKC & SRJKT)
- You got your own university now
- You got to be part of the party that rule the country
- You got freedom in doing business and acquiring assets/wealth forever
- plus many more...
The above are amongst things that the Malay had given you, in return, what had you given to the Malay? So, please stop questioning our rights when in the first place it’s already ours well before your ancestors stepped their foot here.
To me, it’s very simple, if you don’t like Malaysia as it is now, feel free to migrate... take up citizenship elsewhere and see/feel for yourself how those countries treat you... nearest is Singapore...
Well before I get emotional, better I stop here... but please remember guys, without the Malay leaders agreement on the above earlier, where would you be... look at Brunei & Indonesia during Suharto time to name a few...
Stop talking about human rights because Malays have the right too... especially in their mother land...
I love Malaysia & quite satisfied with the current harmony... so please stop provoking others... be grateful with what you got and let’s live peacefully together...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Petrol...Petrol...
Back to this topic again...
I personally do not understand why every minister taking over this portfolio kept on harping on same issues... Instead of making it better, each minister seems like trying to out do their predecessor by coming out with yet another “brilliant” idea...
To me personally, I’m not into subsidy thing and prefer to be out of any subsidy... My parents thought me from small to stand on my own for everything I did without depending on any subsidy or mercy of others...
From my perspective as a layman, things are quite simple and there have been a lot of comment about this, yet they simply refused to listen for reasons best known to them...
My suggestion; removed all petrol subsidies and let everybody pay on actual market price... at the same time, removed all road tax and reduce (if not abolish) all sales tax, import excise duty & road tolls... Once you did that, nobody is complaining... the poor will only use small fraction on petrol & the rich will have to pay for whatever they use...
Some may argue that the price of goods will go up... well, the transportation cost actually will remain almost the same because despite of paying extra petrol, they in return save in tolls, cost of purchasing the lorries as well as maintenance...
I knew somebody in charged of fleet or trailers, their actual “killing” cost is the maintenance, not the petrol... once you abolish taxes on import duties & sales tax, automatically the spare part costs, tyres etc will go down...
At the same time, the so called “savings” from the petrol subsidy, the government should channel it towards improving the public transport...
Honestly, in my personal opinion, if the public transport is efficient, almost half of those driving would prefer to use public transport... I for once don‘t mind using it... save me all the headache on parking, summons, maintenance, wear & tear, agony stuck in jams etc etc...
I guess, the main agenda why some choose to ignore are due to political reasons and position… this changes if ever been carried out, involved too many ministries which amongst ministers, they are known of ‘minding your own’ ministry “rule”…
I will touch on this again in near future till they can explain and make more sensible decision…
I personally do not understand why every minister taking over this portfolio kept on harping on same issues... Instead of making it better, each minister seems like trying to out do their predecessor by coming out with yet another “brilliant” idea...
To me personally, I’m not into subsidy thing and prefer to be out of any subsidy... My parents thought me from small to stand on my own for everything I did without depending on any subsidy or mercy of others...
From my perspective as a layman, things are quite simple and there have been a lot of comment about this, yet they simply refused to listen for reasons best known to them...
My suggestion; removed all petrol subsidies and let everybody pay on actual market price... at the same time, removed all road tax and reduce (if not abolish) all sales tax, import excise duty & road tolls... Once you did that, nobody is complaining... the poor will only use small fraction on petrol & the rich will have to pay for whatever they use...
Some may argue that the price of goods will go up... well, the transportation cost actually will remain almost the same because despite of paying extra petrol, they in return save in tolls, cost of purchasing the lorries as well as maintenance...
I knew somebody in charged of fleet or trailers, their actual “killing” cost is the maintenance, not the petrol... once you abolish taxes on import duties & sales tax, automatically the spare part costs, tyres etc will go down...
At the same time, the so called “savings” from the petrol subsidy, the government should channel it towards improving the public transport...
Honestly, in my personal opinion, if the public transport is efficient, almost half of those driving would prefer to use public transport... I for once don‘t mind using it... save me all the headache on parking, summons, maintenance, wear & tear, agony stuck in jams etc etc...
I guess, the main agenda why some choose to ignore are due to political reasons and position… this changes if ever been carried out, involved too many ministries which amongst ministers, they are known of ‘minding your own’ ministry “rule”…
I will touch on this again in near future till they can explain and make more sensible decision…
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
How to Start a Conversation with new People...
Part 2, on personal development... by personality grooming guru
1. Start with a "hello", and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step.
2. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it "bam!" you've got a great topic of conversation.
3. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
4. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves; get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?", "Have you seen (Insert-Something- Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
5. Jump on any conversation- starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
6. Look your new found friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
7. Don't forget to smile and have fun with your conversation!
Tips
* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world. Also remember and plan to share anything you like, think is funny, or find intriguing. This is building up your own library of things that might be helpful to another person during a conversation someday. It will be amazing how you thread these interesting things when you least expect it, and make conversation an adventure instead of a dreadful task. If you take it to the next step and say things that you want the person to think of as adding value, and keep to yourself things that the person might not, you are actually honing your own personality to be appealing to the other person, and what is a greater act of kindness than that.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about. You could also use a set of conversation starter question cards for inspiration.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?". This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about
1. Start with a "hello", and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step.
2. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it "bam!" you've got a great topic of conversation.
3. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
4. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves; get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?", "Have you seen (Insert-Something- Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
5. Jump on any conversation- starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
6. Look your new found friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
7. Don't forget to smile and have fun with your conversation!
Tips
* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world. Also remember and plan to share anything you like, think is funny, or find intriguing. This is building up your own library of things that might be helpful to another person during a conversation someday. It will be amazing how you thread these interesting things when you least expect it, and make conversation an adventure instead of a dreadful task. If you take it to the next step and say things that you want the person to think of as adding value, and keep to yourself things that the person might not, you are actually honing your own personality to be appealing to the other person, and what is a greater act of kindness than that.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about. You could also use a set of conversation starter question cards for inspiration.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?". This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about
Monday, February 1, 2010
How to Be Charming...
Got this from my 'guru' who is a well known personality grooming gurus in corporate world...
(photo is just an illustration)
Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, they can walk into a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate them. That's charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration.
Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.
1. Improve your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you don't feel that way on the inside). While walking, maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture: spine long, shoulders back, head level with the ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when you first practice it, but keep trying.
2. Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. Face the world and show everyone youre not afraid.
3. Make a connection. When your eyes come in contact with another persons, nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth. Dont worry about the other persons reaction and dont overdo it.
4. Remember peoples names when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the persons name when stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: Hi Jack, Im Wendy. Follow through with small talk and repeat the persons name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. Its not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a persons name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance theyll warm up to you.
5. Be interested in people. If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests. Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Be careful in that subject though you dont want to be nosy. If you ask too much they will become uncomfortable. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most people dont like to think about those things at social occasions unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain from talking up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the person with whom you are speaking.
6. Orient topics toward the audience. This means taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last nights game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn more about it.
7. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you never have a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.
8. Dont Lie. A lie is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you like Jane and Billy that you dont like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be ruined. No one will believe a word you say.
9. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves haircut, manner of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general compliment.
10. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere thank you and enjoin this with Im glad you like it or It is so kind of you to have noticed. These are compliments in return. Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response Oh well I wish I was as ______ as you/that situation. That is tantamount to saying, No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong.
11. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside and have an inability to accept praise. For this very reason, when you praise, do it subtly and glibly. When you say, you look nice today it should be in the exact same tone that you would use to say its a nice day. Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice until you get it right.. It might not sound right to you, in that case, ask someone for judgement.
Tips
* Developing charisma is an art. The general guidelines above can help you be more charismatic, but your charisma must come from within you and must reflect you as an individual or it will appear fake. Fortunately, everyone has the ability to be charismatic, and it simply needs to be coaxed out. Practice and take note of what works and what needs improvement.
* Dont mimic others. People with well developed charisma have a remarkable ability not only to sway peoples opinions but also to cause others to emulate their personalities and even gestures. At the same time, however, research has shown that charismatic people do not emulate other charismatic people. Their individuality sets them apart.
* Have a message. Dont be afraid to be controversial, to push the envelope. If you believe in something or feel strongly about it, communicate that in a respectful way. Your charisma will help people be accepting of your ideas.
(photo is just an illustration)
Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, they can walk into a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate them. That's charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration.
Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.
1. Improve your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you don't feel that way on the inside). While walking, maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture: spine long, shoulders back, head level with the ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when you first practice it, but keep trying.
2. Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. Face the world and show everyone youre not afraid.
3. Make a connection. When your eyes come in contact with another persons, nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth. Dont worry about the other persons reaction and dont overdo it.
4. Remember peoples names when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the persons name when stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: Hi Jack, Im Wendy. Follow through with small talk and repeat the persons name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. Its not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a persons name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance theyll warm up to you.
5. Be interested in people. If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests. Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Be careful in that subject though you dont want to be nosy. If you ask too much they will become uncomfortable. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most people dont like to think about those things at social occasions unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain from talking up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the person with whom you are speaking.
6. Orient topics toward the audience. This means taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last nights game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn more about it.
7. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you never have a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.
8. Dont Lie. A lie is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you like Jane and Billy that you dont like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be ruined. No one will believe a word you say.
9. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves haircut, manner of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general compliment.
10. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere thank you and enjoin this with Im glad you like it or It is so kind of you to have noticed. These are compliments in return. Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response Oh well I wish I was as ______ as you/that situation. That is tantamount to saying, No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong.
11. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside and have an inability to accept praise. For this very reason, when you praise, do it subtly and glibly. When you say, you look nice today it should be in the exact same tone that you would use to say its a nice day. Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice until you get it right.. It might not sound right to you, in that case, ask someone for judgement.
Tips
* Developing charisma is an art. The general guidelines above can help you be more charismatic, but your charisma must come from within you and must reflect you as an individual or it will appear fake. Fortunately, everyone has the ability to be charismatic, and it simply needs to be coaxed out. Practice and take note of what works and what needs improvement.
* Dont mimic others. People with well developed charisma have a remarkable ability not only to sway peoples opinions but also to cause others to emulate their personalities and even gestures. At the same time, however, research has shown that charismatic people do not emulate other charismatic people. Their individuality sets them apart.
* Have a message. Dont be afraid to be controversial, to push the envelope. If you believe in something or feel strongly about it, communicate that in a respectful way. Your charisma will help people be accepting of your ideas.
Before You Complaint...
Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job.
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank ALLAH you're alive and still around.
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job.
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank ALLAH you're alive and still around.
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